Two years ago in July I was asked by my good friend Carlos to give the best man speech at his wedding. I was honored and flattered but it was sort of an odd request since I wasn’t actually the best man, or even in the wedding for that matter. But what did matter is that I was the best BSer Carlos knew at the time and I got the job.
The reason this comes up now is that Carlos’ wedding comes only a few weeks ahead of my son’s birth & he turned 2 today. I promised Carlos I would send him a printed copy of the speech I gave at his wedding and in reading it 2 years later I thought it was pretty good. Good enough, in fact to share here on my site. I hope you enjoy it and if you decide to plagiarize it, please leave me a comment here.
The reason this speech is partially in spanish is because both families of the wedding are from Mexico and I didn’t want to exclude any of the audience.
So here it is:
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen my name is Dino Giacomazzi and I have been asked to say a few words tonight, so in time-honored tradition, I will now do my best to give Carlos the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable five minutes of Rocio’s life will be coming later on this evening, courtesy of Carlos.
Hola las señoras y los caballeros, mi nombre es Dino Giacomazzi y may ha pedido decir algunas palabras sobre mi amigo Carlos. Intentaba decidir, si digo el discurso en inglés o español, pero puesto que no hablo español, calculé que debo utilizar inglés. Aunque, yo no soy muy bueno con inglés tampoco. Los de, tee que no entienden inglés, eres mucho mejor de no saber cuál estoy a punto de decir. Gracias.
Let me first compliment the bride’s maid’s whose beauty and grace are only surpassed by the elegant bride herself. Rocio, many hearts are breaking tonight as another prize is taken off the market. I also would like to thank and congratulate Mr. & Mrs. Castillo & Mr. & Mrs. Castañeda for raising such wonderful and traditional kids, without whom we would not be here to enjoy this free meal tonight. Doesn’t this beat another night at In-n-Out Burger?
Carlos & I met two years ago in the Ag Leadership program and became fast friends. I feel honored that he asked me to speak here tonight. I wanted to do a really good job so I did some research and looked up the definition of the word husband. What I expected to find was the most common definition of the word, which is of course, “a man who is married.” I was surprised to find another definition which is, “to use cautiously and frugally.” Now I thought, “What a fitting definition for Carlos, cautious and frugal.” This reminded me of a time when my wife Julie & I shared a hotel room with Carlos & Rocio. Carlos suggested we share the room so we could save some money on the bill. But what I really think happened was that Carlos was afraid of what Rocio’s parents would do to him if the two of them stayed alone together. Well Carlos, looks like hotel rooms are going to cost a little more from here on out.
I said Carlos & Rocio were traditional kids but this has been what I would consider a Semi-traditional wedding. I grew up Catholic and when I was young I thought the word “traditional” meant the same thing as “long”. That is one reason why I say Semi-traditional…today’s ceremony was pretty quick. I was surprised. Congratulations you two on executing a flawless performance and thank you Father Joseph for helping me keep my tee time. Another reason I say Semi-Traditional is the whole wedding format is a little different. You know how in a normal wedding the church service comes first, then the reception, then the honeymoon? Why do you think there was a 6 hour layover between the ceremony and the reception? The honeymoon! I think Carlos is trying to save money on hotel rooms again. (Note to reader:There really was 6 hours between the wedding & reception and people really did go play golf in between.)
Even though Carlos and I met only two years ago, we have gotten to know each other like brothers. One thing I learned about my new brother Carlos is that he is a man of many talents. Hunter, businessman, real estate mogul, statesman, and philanthropist, but one talent I have learned to respect most of all is his incredible ability to sleep under any circumstance. When we were traveling around Africa together we bounced around in an old bus with no air conditioner. We traveled for hours at a time across scorching deserts and balmy jungles. Five minuets into every trip I would look over at Carlos to find him fast asleep. Looking back, I think Carlos had the best time of anyone on that trip because he slept through all the roughest parts. This could be a useful characteristic to a married man. Rocio, here is a flyswatter to make sure YOU get through those rough spots.
I joke with Carlos but he knows I have a great deal of respect and adoration for him. From the very minute I met him I had a sense of his commitment to his values. Carlos wants to save the world. Carlos is dedicated to his family. Carlos is there for his friends. Carlos always does what he says he is going to do. Carlos is completely and utterly in love with and committed to Rocio.
Carlos is the living personification of one of my favorite quotes. It is a quote from Confucius. I hope it’s ok to quote Confucius at a Catholic wedding…well, um, well here it goes.
Confucius says, “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.”
Carlos when we first met I knew your heart was in the right place. We have just completed an amazing experience together which has cultivated our personal lives, tonight you are getting your family in order and together you and Rocio exhibit a love and caring for one another powerful enough to infect a nation that will then inspire the world.
Carlos & Rocio we will always be ready to help and ready to share your joys with you when they come. So with that in mind, and on behalf of everyone here, I want to make you this wish: (This is the part where we all raise our glasses) “May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever”.
Se permite El Señor tu amor say-ah bastante moderno sobrevivir el los tiempos y bastante pasado de moda al último por siempre.
